When is it the right time?

This question I don't have an answer for. Specifically speaking, when is it the right time to tell someone about Christ?

The obvious answer would be immediately, but I don't think it is as simple as that. I feel as though each opportunity has its own timing, but how do you know when that is?

My husband and I have gotten to know a lady and her boyfriend over the past few months. Only seeing them occasionally, but we have invited them to our home twice. I still haven't said anything about what Christ has done for them, and that this gift is available for them. They do know that we are believers, at least I would hope so given our prayer times before meals, and that I am a Sunday School teacher. But is what we are doing enough?

To be hard on myself, I don't think that it is. I want to say something, but I also don't want them to think that I view them as a "project." Just another one of my to-dos on my list as a Christian. I want them to know that they are special to me, as my friends, and that I would regret it the rest of my life if I didn't share with them the One who makes my life worth while, the One I live for.

So is it as simple as that? Just putting my feelings out there, prepared for judgment, awkward silences and infamous line "I already know all about that." I wish that it was as easy as it looks on paper. I know it is a delicate balance between showing love and sharing the hope I have in Christ and having my audience accept it or coming across as holier than thou and having them reject it, and worse keep that opinion despite other Christian's efforts because I failed so miserably.

Have any of you gone through this predicament? If you are on the other side, did you share/not share, and what was their response? Any suggestions to make this end positively?

What to do about Christmas

I have tried starting this blog post about half a dozen times and was never truly satisfied with how it was going. I continually deleted what I put down and rewrote the intro a couple of different ways. I was just about to give up. Mostly because I hate writing, it makes me feel like I assume I know more than others, which is far from the truth. But I really did want to finish this blog post, because I feel that this is important.

What do you teach your children about Christmas?

Without judgment, I do believe that parents have the right to teach their children traditions and beliefs as they see fit, as long as those don't harm others around them. But with that said I also believe that your children will be shaped not only by what you teach them, but also what others believe and will teach them, especially at school.

We have chosen to tell our children that Santa Claus is a fictitious character based on the real Saint Nicolas that lived a long time ago. Furthermore, we emphasize that Christmas is about Jesus birth and what that meant, and still means for the world.

This has caused a few issues here and there as our children have grown. "Deer in Headlights" faces and the blunt questions of why. A lot of harassment, joking and not, from fellow friends, family, and acquaintances, Christians and non Christians alike. But regardless of what other people have told my husband and I, their opinions on what we should do, it is still our decision and it is one that I am proud of as a parent. (Wow that sounds braggy) But the truth is, I am proud of the results of our teachings, which most people think is only the above statement about Santa, but in reality that isn't even close to it at all.

We don't actually talk about Santa that much, and when we do, I tell them that people still dress up like Santa, because they want to spread happiness and joy, and to remind us to be charitable and give to one another, just as God gave to us that first Christmas. That God so loved the world that He gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life. That is what we focus on as a family.

And although most people focus on the Santa, and tease us about being "Santa-haters" which we never have claimed ourselves. We really don't need to worry about what other people think. It's about what God thinks. And I would like to share the words of my 6 year old's "Letter to Santa"

"The best Christmas ever: The best day of Christmas is Jesus. God sent his son, Jesus, and he loves us very much. Jesus was born in a barn and there were animals like sheep, cows, and the best gift of all is Jesus! God is the one who sent his son and Jesus loves us all."

Christmas to my family is more than traditions. I want my children to have something I didn't have when I was growing up. A relationship with the one true God, and their savior Jesus Christ.

Post

I have about a dozen rough drafts of various subjects in my blog, but I never finish them. I either feel like I sound way to pompous or I just can't express in words what I want to say.

This post isn't meant to express any opinion on any political issue but to perhaps address how we treat each other.

Christ calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Are we doing that when we treat people with a different lifestyle as if they are a leper? This can go any direction that you can image. Towards someone with less expensive clothes, hair unkempt, maybe smells, has the fanciest accessories, wears a lot of makeup, men with long hair, and the list goes on.

It even means treating homosexuals with love and kindness. You don't have to agree with someone's lifestyle in order to be kind to them. In fact, I think that is just the point. Let me tell you a recent story to hopefully let you know what I mean.

My husband and I were on vacation to Jamaica. On the plane from Miami, I noticed to ladies sitting next to each other in the first class part of the plane. They were obviously more than just friends. I didn't think much of it as we shuffled pass to get to our seat in coach. I also remember an older gentleman with long grey hair, another man of Mexican descent desperately trying to get his extremely large carryon into the overhead bin, and more. The point is that I remember lots of people from the plane. But I really remember the ladies, because we ended up taking the shuttle to the resort with them and being in the same waiting room with them and three other couples as we waited for them to get our paperwork in order and everything signed. We also ended up visiting with them, a couple of different times during our 6 night stay. They have four children and were from the New York area. They had a heavy accent, which I loved. Being from the Midwest and never traveling much it is always a treasure to hear another regions accent. One of them was brave enough to jump off a cliff on an excursion, the other was not so brave, but I almost blame my husband and I for scaring her as we met a man who jumped and bruised his legs severely. Overall they were a very nice couple, just like the many other couples that we met on our trip.

We tell stories of the other couples that we met on the trip. The first was from Conneticut and had children, another was just the two of them and she was a prosecuting attorney. We even met another gal with the same name as mine who was a newlywed from Texas. But we don't tell stories about the ladies. The reason is other people's reaction. Some don't even like being in the same area as a homosexual let alone have a conversation and get to know them. I am a firm Christian and I will not be taking any political stance because that isn't what this is about. It is about shining the love of Jesus on everyone for the whole world to see and obeying his command to love each other as we love ourselves. We never were given the opportunity to share the gospel with them, but sometimes that isn't God's plan. Sometimes we are just a glimpse at what a Christian life is, Love. Not hate or bias. Christ died for all of us and I want to keep the doors wide open for Christ to use me to spread that message. They will know that we are Christians by our LOVE.

We did it!

We are not a special couple and what we have accomplished, many have done and will also do. It isn't the goal of life, but it was a goal of ours. We are out of house debt. This little beauty is all ours, less the taxes we will owe each year and the endless repairs, upgrades, and changes we will make in the years to come. But let's not focus on all the negative, rather the positive. We no longer will have to pay a house payment.

I know that this goal seems so far off for many people, and honestly it should. A house purchase is a huge investment, usually the biggest that we will make in our lives. So how were we able to do it at such a young age (I am 26)?

Here are some of the key defining factors as to how this was possible. All were a gift from God and without His help and guidance, honestly it wouldn't have become a reality.

1. We sold two homes already in our life time, both of which we walked away with a fair amount of cash from. This was possible because we continually upgrade, and renovate our homes, doing the work ourselves saved a ton of money that we were able to pocket when the house sold.

2. Our current home purchase price was probably less than a 1/3 of what we could afford according to the bank, who doesn't really care if you are stuck with that "affordable" payment for the next 30 years of your life.

3. Cheaper home=cheaper taxes every year. This payment to the local government never goes away and we were well aware of that when choosing this home.

4. I decided to become a stay at home mom, so we decided to cut our costs. The house was the only thing that would actually make a difference if we could reduce that. So we purchased a cheaper home. It would not be paid off however, if that was all that happened, at least not this fast, it would have taken another 2 years or so. But my husband obtained a better paying job. (more on this the next point)

5. My husband has a better paying job now. We still live off of his previous income. That means we don't spend more than we did before. The extra money we put towards savings and debt reduction.

There is more, but I will detail that later and include our monthly budget as well.

Digging Ourselves Out- The MASTER PLAN

If you have been following along, this is part 3 of the Digging Ourselves Out post. In this part I am going to give you our plan for getting ourselves out of debt. While everyone's situation is different, I hope that by sharing this it can inspire you to make better decisions for yourselves, so that you may also become financially free.

May 2010- I graduate from college. I am unable to find a great paying job in my desired city. We move back to our hometown area. I am making more money than my husband now, but he isn't able to find a job right away. This is okay, though because we were able to move in with my in-laws and they had enough room to accommodate our family of four.

October 2010- We find a home of our own. It is near the top of our price range, but it was the best choice at the time. Looking back I realized was far too picky. I also quit my job at this time, as my husband has found a full time job that pays better with health care, and we are now expecting baby #3. (I did not quit my job just because he found a job. It was a crap job.)

May 2011- Baby #3 is born.

June 2012- I start working outside the home. I am ready to work, and we found care that we can trust for our children. With this job I pay half to daycare, and the other half, as diligently as I can, I put towards student loan payments.

March 2013- I quit my job for a couple of reasons, the biggest of which- I missed being at home with my children. Looking to the future, we are going to be living off of one income, in a house that is stretching our budget too thin. We make the decision to sell our home, and search for a less expensive one in the area.

June 21, 2013- We find a foreclosed home that is half of the price of our current home. It needs work but we are very handy, and a lot has already been done by the bank. Downside- we are now making two payments. Thankful that we have savings.

August 2013- My husband lands his dream job. He now works for the union making literally twice as much as he was at the last place.

October 2013- Our home sells, and we are given the proceeds, which was a lot- given that we put a lot of work into our first home. We put most of that money into our new home mortgage- About a third of the house cost.

Now that you have our history here is OUR PLAN: My husband now makes twice as much. Save half of his income, and live off the other half. We were already able to have a comfortable life with his previous income, and even more so now that we have a cheaper home. That half that we have been saving, we have split into saving and debt. We now make double payments on our house, and will have it paid off by the end of 2014. Our student loan debt, our only other debt outside the mortgage, will be paid off by June of 2015.

We could have chosen at some point to just spend more, to get nice new vehicles, better house, and everything else we wanted. But we have chosen to spend it on debt, and honestly, it feels better. Each month I can breathe easier knowing that our debt is going away, far far away, hopefully never to come back again.

Digging Ourselves Out Part 2

I mentioned our education debt last time, but this time I want to focus on our debt as a whole.

To start with, we do not have credit card debt. I have my parents to thank for that. They helped me apply for my own credit card when I left to go to college in Montana, far from home in Eastern South Dakota. They only gave this to me for emergency use. They were very strict about it, and warned me to not buy anything with my credit card that I didn't absolutely need. So there is our credit card story. We use our credit cards now when traveling, or making large purchases, all things that we have the money for in our checking account. We just use the credit card for the cash back for things we already have the money for.

Second, we do not have any loans on our vehicles, and never have. This was out of luck, but also out of realistic expectations. We knew it would be in our best interest to buy our cars with cash and not buy more than we could afford with cash. The luck part was that my husband bought a house before we got married, put equity into the house, then we sold the house, and used the proceeds to buy our vehicles. IMPORTANT! We did not go out the next day and buy two cars. In fact my husband was still forced by his frugal wife to bear with the current crappy car he had until it stopped working all together. We also did not spend all of the money on the cars. We bought two cars, spaced about a year apart, several months after the house sale, with far less than the entire proceeds.

It makes me sad to know that there are so many people out there struggling with debt and with spending and saving. I think that Dave Ramsey put it really well when he said

"We buy things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't even like"

 

I hope that this can encourage some of you to avoid using that dreadful credit card on things you don't need. Next time I will give you our plan to getting out of debt. 

Digging Ourselves Out

Like so many people our age, we have DEBT. The word just disgusts me, but for the most part, this debt was inevitable. Now I said for the most part, because there are things that we could have done earlier in our lives that would have helped ease this current burden, but we were young, much too young to realize the importance of saving and being frugal. After all we didn't have kids yet, and I did what I was told, which was go to college.

Let's talk about college. Because this decision has played a major role in my life. If I could do it over again, I would still go and do pretty much everything exactly the same. But I was left with debt.
Here is what I have learned from that:

1. Only borrow what you need to go to school. Do not borrow enough so you can get a PS4, or to have just some extra money laying around. You are paying major interest on this money, and you should only take what you ABSOLUTELY NEED. Like Books and Class. Also, and this should go without saying, but I will say it anyways. APPLY FOR GRANTS AND SCHOLARSHIPS! My husband went to a tech school and only he and one other guy applied for the scholarships the school was handing out. That worked better for him, he got more money, but it was sheer laziness why the other guys didn't apply. It doesn't hurt to try, but it will hurt you if you don't.

2. Work. If you can, which pretty much everyone can, find a job and work while you go to school. Everyone says that they can't get a job, because school just takes too much of their time, and if they had to work their grades would suffer. These are also the same people that would frequent the bars and frat parties. They had time for that apparently. SOAPBOX WARNING: I was a wife with two children while I attended school, and my grades were better than my peers, far better, and that is because I used my time wisely. And by time, I mean the small amount of time that I got after my kids went to bed and before I went to bed.

3. Save. If you are working, then save, save every penny that you can. Because when you get done with school, you are going to have to find a job, which will probably require you to move to another city, which will cost money, and if your loans were deferred until you graduated you only have 6 short months to get your budget lined up to accommodate these new loan payments you will have to make. SHOCKER! You may not be able to find a great paying job in your field immediately after you graduate. You may have to put in some time at a lower level position somewhere, that pays crap, until you get experience or your big break and land you dream job. I was at the top of my class, but because the economy was tanking, no one was hiring. Saving money while in school will ease this stress.

I know that the information above should be a no-brainer, but I hope there is someone out there that can benefit hearing it from someone who has come through to the other side.